When you look at your classmates blogs, please complete the following:
1) Say one, specific, positive comment
2) One specific suggestions relating to the development of the character.
3) Any other comment, such as, "wow, my character would go great in your story!"
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1 comment:
This passage geniunely speaks to your character's personality! It's completely nostalgic and just like an old person:
"That was maybe 25 years ago. He couldn't stand the place after Mildred died. Before that, Raymond, Johnny, Walt, Evy, and Jerr. Some went to war, some went to the big city, some just skipped town. Some had families, some died. Robert was the worst though. Robert and I met at the coffee shop, back when they used to have a little stage for live music. Evy and I were singing that night, with Johnny at his sax and gob stick, Walt at the tram, Raymond on his doghouse, Frank on the skins, and Chubby Jerr on the keys. It was dark, crowded, hot, and smokey, and we loved every second of it. After the show, Robert came up to me. 'Can I get your autograph? My friends will never believe me when I tell'em I met Betty Grable.' I laughed at that one."
The only thing that I would say is that you should give the cat more of a personality--the cat is the only person that Bertie interacts with on a personal level, so let Bertie have even more insight into how the cat feels and thinks.
The last thing: there isn't significant movement with your character, but in this case, I think it's appropriate. Bertie's no longer in her prime: she's winding down. So, good job!
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