Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Hot Tears --Loretta Lynn McMurphy
Supporting your friends
1) Say one, specific, positive comment
2) One specific suggestions relating to the development of the character.
3) Any other comment, such as, "wow, my character would go great in your story!"
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Setting additions #2
Notes/comments
a.) Setting is as important as character. Do not forget/neglect the world around your character. Setting helps authenticate experience. Currently, you all are doing a great job letting the setting blend with character-- many of your characters are as bitter and biting as the weather.
b.) Conflict must be present. Internal conflict is more difficult to authenticate than external. You don't need to know the characters name to mention or interact with characters. For example, this week's entry from Donald Consider why and how you would know his or her name.
c.) Don’t forget about literary devices. Many of you are doing a nice job with imagery, some with metaphor. For example, this week's entry from Sidda.
d.) Each time you write, reread your previous entry. Build on the unknown and the unknowable. There needs to be mystery so that the reader can be engaged and looking for his/her interpretation. Do you know the motivations of your character? Most of you are definitely doing a great job dropping us into the middle of things (in medias res) and giving us enough to know and work with, but each entry should be about something.
e.) Keep thinking about physical, spiritual, intellectual and emotional lines of movement in your character. In a way, you are writing a short story, so most movement will be incremental.
f.) proofread and spell check.
g.) Have fun.
Donald James - "Fish"
Lu Garigami
Sidda Quayle
Her grip tightened. The papers, limp in her hands, creased softly, tugging at the corners. Her throat growled and Sidda crumpled the papers in her clammy fist.
She crawled to the kitchenette, where the tea kettle whistled. Her apartment was, for the most part, empty; she'd brought her small things (a kettle, terry sheets, the Lamp She Loved) and three cushions, to sit on. The rest of the dusty furniture had belonged to her mother's friend, her mother's late friend. An iron bed sat against the wall in the middle of the main room; a tiny kitchen sat to the left and a small bathroom with a view had its door in the back corner.
Sidda poured the water into a chipped teacup, and slid to the floor. She blinked, tasted. Blinked, sat still. The steam from the tea made droplets to slide down her nose. The lamp crackled, then went out. Sidda flipped the switch back and forth, but it was dark. She shivered. It was getting dark outside; streams of light faded from the window.
Sidda felt her way down the stairwell. The cold rail of the metal stairs warmed to her touch. She hated the cold; Virginia hadn't ever been this cold. It made her ears ring and her eyes water. She pushed the side door open, slid against the metal door and stepped into the street.
Rounding the corner, Sidda fingered a loose lock of hair. Her hair hung wild around her head, like a lion. She watched the cracked sidewalk as she walked, her eyes turned low and nose burrowed in her scarves.
She was close, now. Pools of water and scum hugged the steps leading down to the tunnel. Faded, once bright graffitti sprayed like wallpaper on the tunnel walls peeled back to reveal dirty cement and hard grime. Sidda placed her feet carefully on each step, pausing before continuing down the short flight.
Light from the street poured into the tunnel. Crouched near the wall, a man sat, twiddling a twig in his dirty fingers, dirty nails. She knew him; Felix had always been there, since she'd moved in. The two had an arrangement: Sidda would leave lines of poems she loved for Felix, and he'd stay silent when she passed through the tunnel. Sidda wasn't one for small talk, or any talk at all.
Sidda stepped daintily over the puddles and scraps, careful not to make a sound (in efforts to avoid disturbing the quiet peace that whispered in the tunnel).
When she emerged from the tunnel, she sighed. She'd held her breath.
Magdalene
I woke up ten minutes later than usual, and didn’t bother to climb out of bed until another hour had passed. The minutes ticking had no meaning to me. I had nothing needing to be conquered. The sweater I’d worn for the past three days was cramped up in a stale pile of cigarettes and reeked of the Irish Pub. I couldn’t remember how I’d gotten home last night, but I was sure I’d seen Felix on the street somewhere along the way. As I pulled on the sweater, I clasped my broken watch on my left wrist, and I scrounged around for some quarters to buy a bagel down the street. The watch was a waste of time since it no longer ticked, but then again I didn’t have much use for seconds and minutes anyway. It wasn’t like I ever had any engagements. I figured I should wait until at least noon before I downed my first brew, so I took my time getting my bagel. I saw Jacen Vaughn on my way, and I desperately wished I had something to say. Any sort of conversation would have been fine. I even would have been happy to chat with Yung Li. I was beginning to feel like I was invisible. I decided I’d spend my extra change on a bus ride. It was getting too chilly to walk. As I paid my change, I found an empty seat next to the window. I recalled a conversation I’d heard the other day. A girl I had never seen before was asking directions.